


Losing You

by Gothic_Fairy



Series: Malec Drabbles [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, Malec, Post Break-up, Shadowhunters Season 2, Spoilers, s02e18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-10 05:45:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11685312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gothic_Fairy/pseuds/Gothic_Fairy
Summary: Magnus thought that leaving Alec was the right thing to do. He had to do it. It shouldn't feel as bad as it did.





	Losing You

Letting that elevator take him away seemed like the hardest decision he’s ever made.  He stood there and watched Alec so helpless and defeated while the door slid closed, leaving them on separate sides. It wasn’t the first time he saw tears in those beautiful eyes. Not even the first time he saw a Shadowhunter cry.  But for the first time it was him who hurt Alec so much, he didn’t even take another step, couldn’t find words to stop Magnus from leaving. The first time Alec’s heart has been  truly  and  utterly  broken.

There was a time Magnus believed his own heart could no longer  be broken  nor filled with love.  After centuries of playing, clawing and shattering, it felt like everything inside of him gave up. The part that  was supposed  to overflow with life went completely numb, frozen and drained.

Except, out of the blue, there was a young boy who made him doubt these believes. Showed him that the spark was still in there, hanging on the last remains of hope. And today, he also made him see that it could die out  just  as  easily  as it was lit. Magnus has already forgotten the taste of bitter love.

He came back to his apartment without even the intention to do so, hoping for a drink to make the tight grip on his lungs let him breathe.  For a long time it was a place that belonged  purely  to him, a shelter where he wasn’t the Hight Warlock of Brooklyn or a Downworlder. He closed the doors the way he closed his heart. But it already felt like ages ago.

Instead of feelings of home and comfort, pain pierced through him like a wild fire burning his very soul. Wherever he looked,  however  he tried not to see. It was the smell that wrapped its fingers around his neck and whispered _Alexander_. The worn-out jacket draped over the sofa and a pair of spare boots in the hallway that poured acid over him.  The omamori charm lying in the middle of a coffee table that let the hand squeezing his heart tighten its hold and smash what  was left.

He thought he knew what it would feel like. He thought he  was prepared  to do it for his people, for the Downworld. Why was it so hard then? Why did it feel like his soul was being ripped in half? Why did the darkness he once chose seem cold and uninviting, more of a cage then freedom for his heart?

Alec was different from anyone he’s ever loved. Not because of his age, his family or his angel blood. He was different because he  was supposed  to be the last. The last one to love and the last one to lose.

And in a way, he was.  Maybe  that was the reason it hurt so much. Because wherever Alec would go in his life, he’d carry the pieces of Magnus with him. There was no other place for them, not with Magnus. They didn’t even belong to him anymore. He belonged to Alec in every way possible and he always would.

But Alec no longer belonged to him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Hope you liked it ^^. Currently, I'm trying to get myself to write more and I thought that maybe drabbles could be the way to go. Soo, if you have an idea or a prompt feel free to say hi: [Promt Me](https://gothic--fairy.tumblr.com/ask).


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